When my kids were little, they not only had to learn the meaning of being contrite but also how to make amends. To be contrite is to show sorrow and remorse for improper or unacceptable behavior. It was important they learn to recognize the hurt they caused the other. When they fought, they would come to me as the arbitrator of their disagreement. Often, I wasn’t concerned about the details of the disagreement; I was more focused on the feelings they had for each other. I wanted them to understand that they had offended the other and that the relationship needed to be repaired—and to learn how to go about fixing it. Another lesson in being contrite is understanding why one might want to make amends in the first place—to seek reconciliation with the other.
Making Amends
As my four children grew up, the middle two were closest in age and friendship. They needed to learn what it meant to be contrite. When they were around four years old, after an argument, I would have them stand facing each other, look each other in the eye, and, as sincerely as possible, repeat, Precious, you mean so much to me. I love you so much. I am sorry I hurt you. They would truly struggle with this, but by the end, they would both be laughing, hugging, and all was forgiven. Through this exercise, they learned to feel sorrow for their behavior, be accountable for their actions and to express their remorse to the other person. In essence, they were learning to know the meaning of contrition.
Contrition with God
Contrition extends to our relationship with God. To be truly repentant, we must first feel the sorrow and remorse for having offended God. When we are humbled by our sins and come before God with a contrite heart, we can genuinely seek forgiveness. Paul tells us, Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death (2 Corinthians 7:10).
Jesus gives us a powerful example of this in the parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector, in Luke 18:9-14. In this parable, the Pharisee, who perceived himself as righteous, went to the temple to thank God that he was not like others—wicked, adulterers, evildoers, or even like the tax collector. He stood before God with a heart filled with pride, not with contrition, and was not seeking forgiveness for sin. In contrast, the tax collector, ashamed of his sinfulness, would not even look up to heaven. Instead, he beat his breast and said, God, have mercy on me, a sinner (vs. 13). He had a humble, contrite spirit.
King David had a contrite heart after the prophet Nathan rebuked him for his affair with Bathsheba (2 Samuel 12). His heartfelt prayer of contrition is recorded in Psalm 51. David recognized his sins and transgressions against God and sought to restore his fellowship with the Lord. His sacrifice was not burnt offerings but rather a broken and contrite heart.
When reflecting on the words of Isaiah, These are the ones I look on with favor: those who are humble and contrite in spirit, and who tremble at my word (Isaiah 66:2), we begin to understand why we choose to be contrite. We seek God's favor and desire to have a relationship with Him.
In Christ's love,
Tracey
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