Accountability

For whom the Lord loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives. If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. - Hebrews 12:6-8

I have been involved in ministry for many years, whether in a church setting, serving the community, participating in prayer ministries, or teaching. It’s interesting to look back over the years and reflect on my faith at different points along the journey.

And like any path in life, if we’re being perfectly honest with ourselves, we recognize how little we really knew, even though we thought we knew so much. We see how much we’ve changed from those early years - even from five years ago. There has been so much growth, so much maturing in faith and in life.

And along the way, I’m incredibly grateful for the people in my life who were willing to hold me accountable. Accountable in my faith. Accountable as a Christian woman. As a wife. As a mother. As a member of society.

People who came alongside me and loved me enough to encourage, support, correct, and speak loving truth into my life. Sisters, brothers, friends…even my own children. How blessed I have been to have open-hearted people in my life who were willing to speak honestly, even when it wasn’t easy. People who became a wonderful source of encouragement and helped me grow into a woman of greater faith and maturity.

I’m not sure I would be the woman I am today without those people who were willing to lovingly tell me what I needed to hear, rather than simply what I wanted to hear. Accountability, when it comes from a place of love and a desire to see someone grow, is a gift. It can protect us from deception, expose areas in our lives that need to change, and keep us anchored to the truth of God’s Word.

And yet, somewhere along the way, accountability seems to have become increasingly uncomfortable - especially within the Church.

When Love Becomes Tolerance

What happens when the Church becomes so focused on loving and accepting people that we stop holding one another accountable to the truth of Scripture? What happens when we become so afraid of offending someone that we no longer have the courage to correct what is wrong? Could our unwillingness to hold one another accountable be one of the reasons so much error has found its way into the Church?

We live in a culture that continually tells us to embrace ourselves, protect ourselves, affirm ourselves, and never allow anyone to make us feel uncomfortable. And unfortunately, some of that thinking has made its way into the Church. We have become increasingly hesitant to call sin what Scripture calls sin, to correct error, or to lovingly challenge one another when we are walking outside the boundaries of God’s Word.

Paul makes a very interesting point to the Corinthian church about accountability with other believers: “For what have I to do with judging those also who are outside? Do you not judge those who are inside? But those who are outside God judges” (1 Cor. 5:12–13).

The Church’s responsibility is to judge within the Church, while trusting the Lord to judge the world. And yet, we seem to have it all backward. We are judging the world and the people in it, while staying all but silent when it comes to sin or error within the Church. We want to hold the world accountable, and yet we don’t want to hold each other accountable. “Don’t judge me” has become the common reaction we hear from one believer to the next.

We need to remember that correction can actually be an expression of God’s love. Scripture tells us, “For whom the Lord loves He chastens” (Hebrews 12:6). God disciplines those He loves because He desires our holiness and our good. And sometimes, before His discipline comes, He will lovingly use another person to show us where we are going astray. Maybe that person who is speaking truth into your life is not trying to hurt you. Perhaps they are the very means God is using to get your attention before the consequences of your choices become greater. What if the correction we resist today is actually God's mercy toward us?

When We Refuse Correction

The danger of a Christian who is never held accountable is that they can fall into the trap of self-love. Self-love can blind us, and bind us. When we become so focused on ourselves, we can become incapable of seeing our own faults and unwilling to listen when someone lovingly confronts us with truth. It hurts. It challenges our pride; the very pride we may refuse to acknowledge we have.

David understood the value of loving correction. He said, “Let the righteous strike me; it shall be a kindness. And let him rebuke me; it shall be as excellent oil; let my head not refuse it” (Psalm 141:5). David understood correction as something precious, like having a box of costly oil broken over his head - a powerful expression of Jewish love.

And his actions backed up his words.

Both Abigail and Nathan held David accountable. Abigail confronted David about his intentions toward Nabal and his family and warned him against acting out of anger and vengeance. Nathan later confronted David about his sin against Uriah and forced him to come out of hiding and face what he had done.

Abigail prevented the king from sinning at just the right moment. Nathan called him to repentance for the sin he had already committed.

And not only did these two prevail in what must have been incredibly difficult assignments, but they actually endeared themselves to David by being obedient to God and faithful to their friend. David took Abigail as his wife, and Nathan became his trusted counselor.

There is something powerful in that. True love is willing to risk discomfort for the sake of another person’s good. Abigail loved David enough to stop him from sinning. Nathan loved David enough to confront him after he had sinned. Neither one simply stood by and tolerated what was wrong.

That is accountability. And that is love.

And that is something we all need to really think about.

Thank You

So for all of you reading this who have lovingly spoken truth in my life...I want to say Thank You! You know who you are. I love and appreciate each and every one of you, and to this day, count myself blessed to still call you my brothers, sisters, and friends in Christ.

God Bless You,

Carole